Todos Somos Una Voz

I feel bad that I did not, in any way support the events which occurred yesterday across the country. I even bought lunch and dinner after meaning to support the boycott. I'm a bad, bad, half-Latino.

I would have very much liked to have been here with some of my family, packing the Civic Center Plaza in Downtown Mountain View:

Credit: Steve Parkinson

I love this photo. I can, from now on, use it as a tool to describe how Mountain View is different than say, Palo Alto, or Sunnyvale, or Los Altos. Something like this just wouldn't happen in those other cities, and it's quite a remarkable assemblage of people for a city of only 70,000.

I often joke about how un-Latino I am, especially after failing miserably when it comes to dancing at club's Latin nights. Deep down, I feel a certain degree of disconnection on a lot of levels: I'm mixed, I don't speak Spanish, I'm a third-generation native, and my socio-economic background is different from the vast majority of the people out there protesting yesterday.

But at the same time, I do feel connected. Half of my family can trace its roots here to my great-grandparents crossing the Rio Grande during the Mexican Revolution. I know my family's history well, and I know that we're not very far removed from the people that will be impacted by new immigration legislation.

I'm truly amazed by what is happening and very hopeful about the long-term outcome of such a widespread and peaceful movement. I've spent the afternoon watching videos and photos from the various protests, especially San Jose's...where between 50,000 and 100,000 people marched down Alum Rock/Santa Clara Street into Downtown San Jose. There's a lot of joy there, a lot of hope. A bunch of e-mails went out to my family's list about the rallies happening in San Jose and Mountain View and who was attending which. I'm proud that some of my family members were able to represent us at both rallies.

Es hora de reconocer que

Todos somos una voz

Abraza el concepto

Venimos de las misma voz.

It is the hour of recognizing

That we are all one voice

Embrance the concept

We come from the same voice.

[migra - santana]

Long Day, Funny Article

I got up at 8:00. I was in class by 9:00am. I was either at work, working, or in class until 12:45am.

Gah!

Anyhow, for those of you who are/were a fan of the OC, this is a funny article:

Latest 'O.C.' drama revolves around UC

Excerpt:

"LAST WEEK'S episode of television's uber-trendy "The O.C." was greeted by derisive laughter as tens of thousands of California teenagers and UC Berkeley grads watched Marissa Cooper stroll the Cal campus as a newly admitted freshman-to-be.

OK, it wasn't actually Cal, but how, they asked themselves, could Cal admit the gorgeous young drama queen, even fictitiously? Like, did she even go to class?

"As a Berkeley rejectee myself," one irate viewer said in a posting on the TelevisionWithoutPity.com discussion boards, "it just sucks seeing that Marissa got into Berkeley and I didn't."

-Contra Costa Times

But I Still

I went to a club on Thursday. I drove to Monterey and Santa Cruz and Downtown San Jose on Friday. I watched Rent on Friday night. I saw Leo and Vivian for the first time in nearly a year and had dinner with Leo on Saturday, and on Saturday night I went to two parties. On Sunday, I got a lot of work done and ended the night as usual, watching Desperate Housewives and Gray's Anatomy with Morgan.

It was a good weekend. There was lots of fun, lots of traveling, lots of good times with friends both old and (relatively) new.

But on the drive home from Morgan's (I have my car here until Thursday) U2's song, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for" came on the radio.

....

Thanks for rubbing it in, radio.

A Brief Ode to the Gang

Can I just say, I love these guys*

Wherever they are feels like home. This time it was Sacramento, in Matt and Kim's new apartment. It's awesome to have those two back from their year in Hawaii.

Jamie (green shirt) is leaving this week to spend more than a year in New Zealand. Her blog is full of jumbled but often brilliant thoughts about what that means, or doesn't mean, or something ;-)

All I can say is this, since that great summer after high school, we've each gone our separate ways. We've gone to Hawaii, to Indiana, to Ireland, and to certain parts of San Francisco some of us had never set foot in before ;-). We've made amazing new friends. We've changed more than I think any of us can fully realize. But each time we're apart, we come back to find that our friendships are even stronger than they were before.

So on that note, Bon Voyage Jamie, I hope you truly enjoy this leg of your great journey. And I look forward to your return.


---------------
*Jen (and Martin and Dustin if you ever read this) are included in this.

**Preemptive Disclaimer: Don't be jealous Lauren Profeit. I love you too.

As for the rest of you, please pardon the cheesy sentimentality of this post. Thanks.

Almost Honest

I had a great time last weekend in Sacramento celebrating Kim's birthday with the high school gang. The ride there was a lot of fun too. Jamie and I really had a nice talk/singing session (her radio/cd player is broken so we were forced to entertain ourselves.)

One song we're both really into at the moment is Almost Honest by Josh Kelley. It's really an awesome song. AND guess what! You can download the San Francisco version for free here.

Enjoy.

Lights On

It's spring. Thought I'd brighten things up around here. More later.

My new catch-all response

Nap98: someone threw a sirenge at barry bonds
destroy364: syringe, nick
Nap98: i'm an author bitch

MV, baby!

Today, between planning law and swimming, I took BART to San Francisco and delivered my final manuscript for Images of America: Mountain View to my editor at Arcadia Publishing's office. (Then she treated me and the author of Images of America: Tiburon to lunch. Yay free lunch!)

This means, folks, that the book itself, is donezo and out of my hands!

I still have to help Arcadia market the book effectively, but the hard part is over. The cover has already been sent to the printer and the title should soon pop up on Amazon and Arcadia's page once I finish the marketing survey they want me to fill out.

And it's a good book. I put a lot of work into it, and I think people will be happy with the results. I hope. They can buy it in conjunction with Images of America: Moffett Field, which apparently is just about to get published as well. I'm truly excited that so much more of Mountain View's history is going to be out there now on the shelves for people to discover with my book at the Moffett Field one. My book. Ohhhhh that sounds nice. My book.

I decided to not include the my middle initial in my name for the book's cover, but as Chris Atwood has made a point of saying lately:

"The A in Nicholas A. Perry now stands for Author."

Teehee.

:)

Oh....and as 7:08 pm in Berkeley, it's still light out (benefit of daylight savings) and it hasn't rained for the past three or four hours. So hurray for the bottom of my jeans finally getting a chance to dry out.

STOP RAINING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can't believe I'm writing about the weather again...but I'm sick of it. I'm staring out my bedroom windows at yet another day of pouring rain. San Francisco broke its previous record for number of rainy days in March. It was set in 1904. 25 days or rain.

25 days!

And the weather people say that the pattern of constant storms is going to continue for at least two more weeks. I need it to end. I need it to be warm and sunny. And I'm not the only one, the Chronicle's top story today was about people getting fed up, outdoor-oriented jobs being ruined, and an endless list of social activities canceled because of this lousy weather.

I have no food here, and no car. I need to go out there into the deluge and find some food.

I usually love the rain and feel a twinge of sadness when spring arrives and the days of stormy weather is over. But this is too much.

Grumble grumble.

Where the Streets Have No Name

On my walk home, the rain was falling but the sun was out and starting to set. All the rain drops were reflecting the sunlight, making everything look golden. There was a rainbow over the hills and the whole scene was underscored by the U2 song that was playing on my ipod. The moment was really beautiful, but in a melancholy kind of way.

Just wanted to remember that.

Rain Rain

Okay now, I like the rain. California "winter" has never been something that I tend to complain about. The hills turn green, the air is crystal clear, the waterfalls in Uvas Canyon are full, and every now and then you get a series of stunning sunny days perfect for day trips.

But this is too much. The hail. The thunderstorms. The snow! Maybe it's the combination of the weather, my cold, and all the work on I have to do....but winter, I've had enough of you. This makes me sound like a weather-wimp from the stupid-half of the State, but I'm ready for flip-flop weather. I want to feel 70 degree temperatures again. I'm tired of wearing three layers or more every day. I want to sip lemonade and eat a hot dog (for some reason it doesn't feel right to have those foods when its freezing). I want to relax on Memorial Glade while listening to "All Day Music" by War or other Latino-rock songs that just fit so well with good weather.

But it looks like this weather is gonna stick around for a little while longer. As will my cold, and as will all my work despite the fact that my book is being sent away tomorrow to the publisher.

Ah yes. The book is almost done. At least the hard part. How does that feel you ask?

You expect me to say "Fantastic!" right?

No. It's kinda scary. It's like the way you feel the moment time runs out on a final and you need to turn yours in, for better or for worse. I've worked so long and hard on this, and I still feel that with more time, I could have done it even better. Apparently, this is normal. When it comes to Mountain View writing, I'm so used to things like web pages, where if you make a mistake or want to add something, you simply just upload the changes and bada-bing, problems solved. And with newspaper articles, well, those get thrown away after a week (unless your my family and have a horde of Mountain View Voices saved from all the times my brother and I were either in it or wrote something for it).

This book is frighteningly permanent. Hopefully, after today I'll feel confident with my final draft. Hopefully once I put that baby in the mail, a wave or relief will hit me. Because in the end, no one else could have created a book on Mountain View like the one I made. I hope people appreciate it.

In the meantime, I think I'll listen to some War and Santana, and dream of the sunny days that are just a month or so away.

The Final Stretch

Hey everyone. Sorry it's been so long since I've written anything of substance here. So what I have been up to? Well I knew this semester was going to be a bitch, and so far it has lived up to the prophecy. Balancing two studio projects, a planning law class, and my beloved book has made my life quite difficult.

But as much as I moan and whine to my friends (thanks for putting up with me guys) I'm doing just fine. All this will soon pass, the book is a little more than a week from being turned. And its not like my work has stopped me from having a good time and going out every now and then. But it'll be SO nice to go out without the nagging feeling of "hey I should really be working on the book right now instead." And once that happens....all I can say is I'm going to be ready to party like I just turned 21 (except, no strip clubs this time). I'll be very Irish on Saint Patty's day.

In other news...I went to the CED Career Fair today and successfully placed my resume in the hands of 5 firms, 4 of which I'm actually interested in. (That one other firm's reps just kind of sprung on me while I was walking around and ran away with one of my resumes). It was also good to see so many of my architecture pals from the Class of 2005 happily employed and representing their new companies at the fair. Gives me hope.

Rewriting my resume last night was also a pretty self-affirming experience. Made me feel better about the decisions that I have made. I'm proud of what I've accomplished, and looking back at my coursework this year and last, I've realized that my recent educational endeavors are more valuable than I thought they were. I am learning the skills and building the connections I need to make myself a good candidate for firms to hire. It felt so different going to this career fair and going to the last one. The firms I approached actually paid attention to me and talked to me for a while. Maybe the job market is better, but I think it has a lot to do with what I've accomplished and the confidence it gives me.

Plus...."I'm a Master of City Planning student focusing on Urban Design" gets a much better response than "I'm a fourth year Urban Studies major." Hehe.

doodeedoo

:)

Room to Breath

Yesterday was rough, but as of 3:00pm today and entered into a period of free time which I am very much enjoying. For once, nothing huge is due tomorrow and I don't have to get up till 8:00.
I was randomly selected in my planning law class to give a briefing report of one of the cases we were supposed to have read. Basically it works like this: You prepare a briefing, if you are selected you can chose to pass or you can read your briefing to the class. The prof questions you while reading the brief and then questions you more after you finish about your thoughts on the case. Then it's opened to class discussion. Giving briefs is about 20% of your grade and you do it 2-3 times during the semester.

Kinda scary. But I did it, and I think I did all right. It felt really good. Yay for a little bit of relief. I don't have to worry about giving another briefing for a little while now.

My goal for tonight is to finish Chapter 5 of my book. This is an ambitious goal. But if I don't achieve it, it's not the end of the world. I have some time.

Phew.

This Can't be Healthy

A brief moment to vent:

Sunday afternoon is spent compiling information on my site for studio.
Sunday evening/night is spent finishing the draft of Chapter 4 in my book.
By 8:45 this morning I'm in the Mission District of SF for a class walking tour.
By 12:30 I'm back home and reading cases for my planning law class
By 1:30 I'm in studio and I work there until 6:00pm.
From 7:00 to 8:00 I eat dinner.

I'm now faced with writing seven case briefs for planning law.

By 9:00am tomorrow I have to be at Strada to meet with my planning law study group.
From 9:30am to 11:00am I'm in planning law.
From 11:00 to 2:00pm I'm doing a site visit for my planning methods class
From 2 to 3 I have swimming PE (at least it's pseudo-free time)
3:00 I have to start research for studio again
Once that's done, I should work on the book until I get too sleepy.

And so it goes, and goes, and goes. And goes and goes and goes.

Of course, you've got throw procrastination gaps in there every once and while or else I would just curl up in the fetal position and fall asleep on my bedroom floor. This makes 9 to 5 sound like cake.

Eat Bird

Morgan likes birds as much as I like* Mountain View history:

Nap98: cooking a bird you saw today?
Nap98: ba-dum-ching
tarquin99: you're bad
tarquin99: :P
tarquin99: I saw a new bird today!!!
tarquin99: and a really rare one!!
Nap98: oh!
Nap98: what?
tarquin99: and!
Nap98: there's more?
Nap98: hehe
tarquin99: I can positively say that I was the last one EVER to see it!!
tarquin99: because I saw it get eaten!!
Nap98: LOL

...it's the little things in life....

*I still like Mountain View history, despite my complaints about el libro.

A Good Sign

Just a few minutes ago while walking home from Planning Law class (not _that_ bad) I saw something perhaps more weird and out of place on Parker Street than the wild turkey's of last November....Triangle Man. I haven't seen Triangle Man in quite some time, perhaps because I'm not in that part of campus anymore, perhaps because I do not go to the RSF enough, or perhaps Triangle Man has finally moved on and is only here to visit.

But I take his random appearance on Parker and Hillegass, in all his bizarre Trianglely-Manness as a good omen. I do not know why I'm taking this is a good omen, I can't think of any symbolism or deeper meaning to it. But I'm running with the feeling.

Because this week....oh boy...this week was hell week. I'm used to having a hell week once or twice every semester, usually towards the end or during midterms. But this early hell week caught me off guard. All my stresses swirled into one big yucky storm that was way way out of season---way too early. Made me feel like if it's this bad now, how am I going to survive the rest of it?

But I've decided that things aren't going to get worse, they're going to get better. By the simple fact that the book will be done, my load will lighten as the semester progresses, or at least I'll be under less pressure.

And now it is the weekend. And the weekend is mine. To do with it what I please. Much of that will be work-work-work. But at least that will be my choice and I can temporarily get off the speeding treadmill that was this past week.

I have a new answer for when people ask me how grad school is....if it's the same as undergrad.

It's harder. A damn lot harder. Not so much because of the courses, but because of what's expected of you and what you expect from yourself. But, as so many of you have been kind enough to patiently remind me....I will get things done and survive.

To myself:

Waking up at 8 or 7 isn't that bad. Get used to it. Go to bed earlier.

You like Urban Design, and even if it isn't the field you end up sticking with.....these will be good skills to have regardless.

Money is a problem, but loans are always an option for next year.

On a similar note, stop spending money on alchohol. Just go to lots of parties instead.

The book will get done. You're making good progress. Just step things up a bit this week.

Yeah, you're schedule is a mess. Yeah it won't be easy. You've been there before and suceeded with flying colors. Don't worry.

Other things will work out in good time. Patience.

Calm down. You'll be fine. And you have a gazillion people who are there for you.

Go to bed. You need more sleep.

.....Weird. That made me feel a lot better.

Too much on my plate...

...and I'm full.

Spring break can't come soon enough.

Every IM Conversation for the Last Month:

x: hey
me: heya
x: how you doing?
me: all right, you?
x: good. how's the book coming along?

Major Life Decision

Should it be:

Images of America: Mountain View, California
By Nick Perry

OR!

Images of America: Mountain View, California
By Nicholas Perry

OR!

Images of America: Mountain View, California
By Nicholas A. Perry

Please submit your votes ;-)

(I should be writing captions)

What are ya doin New Years.....

....New Years eve?

2005. What a freakin momentous year. I'm sad to see it go, but I'm looking forward to 2006. A long winded recap of all that has happened this year should probably go here, but...eh. You get the idea.

I just found out via e-mail that my two good studio buddies Rory and Phyl are engaged as of Monday. It was such a happy surprise! I saw their romance blossom in studio waaaaay back in 2002. I'm totally bummed that I can't go to their engagement party on New Years Eve. Here's hoping I can go to the wedding....whenver that is.

Instead.....I'll be in Disneyland to ring in the new year with Matt and Kim and assorted company/siblings (Chris and Shirley will be there with Seth and his gf). The trip as a whole I'm sure will be fun....but...but...the thought of being surrounded by kissing couples and screaming children at midnight on New Years Eve....ack. Slightly depressing at the moment, but I'm pretty sure once I'm actually there I'll be over it and distracted by the fireworks.

I also have delusions of meeting a cute cast member before the clock strikes 12:ooam to dodge the god-damn-it-being-single-on-new-years-sucks-monkey-balls bullet. A guy can dream....and Disneyland is where dreams come true right? Magic and pixie dust? Right? Heh.

Happy Christmas Eve Day

There magic in the air this evening
Magic in the air
The world is at her best, you know
When people love and care
The promise of excitement is one the night will keep
After all, there's only one more sleep til Christmas

-Kermit the Frog

A Friendly Reminder....

tarquin99: Remember that there is hope out there!!!

I had a not-so-great Thursday night....nothing terrible happened but it put me into a funk today. On days like these it feels really good to have friends who will take the time to brighten things up a bit. Whether it be watching Desperate Housewives on dvd with me (Eric), bringing a puppy over to visit (Candice), or just leaving a nice message for me on AIM while I was away (Morgan). Thanks guys.

In other news, I finished my first semester of grad school today...and I feel pretty good about the whole experience.

And now, time to turn in...*early* so I can be fresh and merry for the first ever Perry-Sias Holiday Party in Mountain View :)

A Scored a Goal!

In PE that is. To end the semester, we played a version of water polo. Two teams. My team chose me to sprint to get the ball. Me, the guy always picked second to last in every team sport in high school PE! Hehe. And then, I scored the last goal!

This was unprecendented. I've never had a people look to me for leadership in an athletic context. In high school PE the only goal was to survive and I've more or less avoided participation in sporting activities since then.

I'm so glad I took my swim class. It was a last minute decision. It's ironic that compared to my planning classes with their projects and drawings and lectures and papers....I feel like I gained the most this semester out of swimming.

It got me back in the pool, which I forgot how much I really did love. It put me back in shape. I met some really cool people. Most importantly, it made me feel good about my health and my athletic ability. . .made me feel a lot more well-rounded.

I feel GOOD right now! I scored a goal! :-D

November in a Nutshell

Free at last!

....well not quite.

But with one major term project turned in and the other one in the bag, all I've got between me and winter break is a final next Thursday and some other minor things. Then, it's time for holiday parties, Christmas, New Years in Disneyland....and a month of intense catch-up on the Mountain View book.

But for now, I have a moment to breath. The weight is slowly being lifted off my shoulders, the stress level is going down. And I can finally update this thing with photos from the month of November. So! Here we go.

-------------------------
Julie and I celebrated our birthdays with the whole gang on November 11. After finding out that the wait at Cheesecake Factory would be over four hours (stupid USC fans) we ended up at a really nice Thai restaurant South of Market. After dinner we hit up the clubs. I was feelin pretty sick, but we all managed to have an awesome time anyway.

November birthdays rock.

The whole group at dinner.

The next day we all saw Cal get beat by USC. Eh. Had a fun time anyway. Next year Trojans, Next year.
That night Lauren drove up to go bar hopping in Berkeley. Kay and Julie got pretty drunk. The rest of us just watched and laughed ;-)

------
All right- Fast Forward to Big Game Week 2005!

Bonfire!

Bonfire Rally night was fun as usual. I went with Preeti and my friend Eva. Eva, a first year MCP student from China had a blast at the bonfire. The campus was lit up all pretty yet again in blue and gold lights. Ahhhh the Spirit of California rocks my world. Haha.

Eva was impressed by the Bonfire.
True Blue. So pretty.
Looking nice.
They upgraded back to big candles with cups instead of last year's birthday candles which dripped hot wax on everyone. Good job Rally Comm.

Big Game!
The game itself was a blast. Cal fans turned Stanford Stadium into Memorial Stadium south. Our crowd vastly out-numbered the Stanford fans, taking up nearly 2/3rds of the stadium. The student section was loud and tons of fun, and the Cal alumni were also really involved in the game. Of my three Big Games at Stanford, this one was by far the most fun. It also helped that the team smacked Stanford and won 27 to 3 thanks to fourth-string quarterback Steve Levy. The chants of "LeeeeVY" and "U-C-Davis" were great.

Me and Preeti at my dad's pre-game tail gate.
One example of the crazy-ass crowd surfing going on in the student section.
Cal wins! Preeti and I take a moment to capture the moment as the clock runs out.
Kay and Dan ended up going with Eric to the game too! So we all met up back at my dad's tailgate along with Preeti, Chris, Shirley, Seth and his gf to eat burgers and celebrate. The night ended at Kapp's Pizza in Downtown MV where my mom joined us for more food and drink.

So much fun! I never want to miss a Big Game. Ever.

---------

Thanksgiving!

The day went off without a hitch. My grandparents were exceptionally pleasant to spend time with (grandma's hearing aide was working and grandpa wasn't being grumpy) The day after we even drove to San Francisco in the late evening just to walk around and see the lights.

I caught my grandpa showing my grandma his last roses of the season in the front yard. Awww.
My mom sets up a small table for 23. Haha. Nothing like a Sias family gathering.

Me, my dad, and Chris in front of the tree in Union Square. And we'll end this post with a picture of that beautiful tree, a preview of what December has to offer!

Happy Holidays folks!

Battle of the Bulge

...the bulge on my back that is.
Alternate Title: My Lovely (not lady) Lump....
Alternate Title 2: The Evil Cyst Lord

..ever since turning 23 (ancient) I feel like my body has been waging a war of annoyance against me. Putting me in the most pain and discomfort without actually dishing up anything severe or life threatening (thank god). Either way it sucks. I've pretty much been wavering between a cycle of kinda sick, down right sick, and recovering from a cold ever since my birthday. I have a cough, and cankersores. I feel gross.

And the icing on the cake. A cyst. A benign cyst that decided that this week would be a *great* week to get infected. On the base of my neck in the back. I made an appointment to have it checked out for next Wednesday, but after I had doctor Kay look at it and tell me to to go to urgent care, I resolved to be a big boy and walk over to the Tang Center urgent care bright and early this morning right when they opened to have it dealt with.

Right decision. Because the longer I waited, the worse the infection would have got. They saw me right away, and I spent the morning on my back with a doctor sticking needles in me, cutting me up, and squeezing puss out of the cyst. Lovely I know. Aren't you glad I shared? To top it all off, they gave me tetanus shot.

So here I am, with a huge ass bandage and loads of tape covering a small but open wound just underneath my shirt collar (at least it doesn't show).

Quite the ordeal.

But you know what? I'm happy. I don't have to really worry about that thing anymore, cause it really was worrying me. And now that the good doctor has launched a counter-attack on it I'll be feeling better soon, and maybe all my other minor health problems will go away since my body is no longer wasting energy fighting the evil cyst.

And I'm also happy because I dealt with something all by myself. On my own health insurance. With my own money. On my own gumption that this was something that needed to be dealt with.

And I'm also happy because the people in the Tang Center were super nice and friendly today. Not what I expected.

And that my friends, brings me to a close of my most disgusting and unflattering post ever. But hey, I know ya love me, cysts and all. ;-)

Haul Out the Holly

My poor neglected blog.

I just deleted a whole entry I decided not to post. It was too whiney. Whining about my term paper due Tuesday and the book due in March ruining my Winter break.

Screw that mentality. I'm done with it. I'm going to accept that the book is going to be a huge part of my Winter Break, and try to have fun with it and remind myself that it's a dream come true. As for this weekend, I'm going to stop worrying about my school projects because I know that in the end, I'll get them done and do a kick-ass job too.

So tomorrow, I'm going to haul down the boxes of Christmas decorations and help my family start decking the halls. I'm going to work on my paper and get the first draft done. I'm going to edit the introduction to my book. I'm going to start putting up the Christmas lights at my grandparent's house.

And I'm going to enjoy every minute of it, or at least try.

Thanks!

Thanks for all the facebook messages and wall postings!

Thanks for all the e-mails!

Thanks for the IMs!

Thanks for the phone calls!

Thanks for dinner!

Thanks for enjoying cupcakes after dinner (and thanks to Julia for the cupcakes!)!

You all made my birthday. :-)

I'll be 23

I'm no longer living in my regrets.
I'm no longer waiting around for the right time.

I'm turning 23 tomorrow. And the lyrics to the song (which I've posted on this blog, at least once before) don't apply the way they used to.

And that, my friends, is a reason to celebrate.

Sing it to me Alicia

Round and round and round we go.
Will you ever know?

Lauren's funny

My away Message:
dengrove is getting ready to go to vegas
i'm getting ready to go to turlock, ca

[unfair!]

Lauren P's responce:

l p r o f e i t: but i hear turlock is beautiful this time of year
l p r o f e i t: and some call it the vegas of the central valley
l p r o f e i t: at least, that's what i hear.

Yay for Turlock.....Vegas with cows.

Halloween in MV

While everyone and there mom heads to the Castro for Halloween, I've always chosen to return to Mountain View to put together and help run my family's haunted house. It's hard to believe we've been doing it for 9 years now. It's gotten a little better each year too. This year we greatly enhanced the Haunted Mansion-inspired "pepper's ghost effect"...basically using mirrors and glass to create the optical illusion of a ghostly woman (we call her La Llarona) appearing and disappearing in a room.

The haunted house has really become a great tradition and something that not only my family but also a lot of the neighborhood families look forward to now. Each year it seems like more people come...this year we even had minivans of people pull up to our house to take a look, and at one point the line to get in went all the way down the driveway to the street.

And it's not like it's the only gig in town. Over on the other side of Old Mountain View are two far more elaborately decorated haunted houses. But what makes ours different is that it's more human...more friendly. We have things for little kids. We're not gory. We always ask people if they want to get scared or just look. Everyone that goes through it either exits screaming and laughing or just smiling. It feels really, really good to give my neighbors something special to enjoy every Halloween.

This year, was also impressive in terms of who showed up from my family and friends. 5 of my mom's six siblings were there. A whole bunch of cousins. Both of my dad's brothers, all three of my grandparents, and a lot of friends too: Lauren Berger, Jen, Eric, Dan, Julie, and Wycee! And there were enough of my mom's green enchiladas to go around for everyone!

So it was a great night, a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to next Halloween already :-)

Here are the photos:

Me and Jen and the remote-control rat.


My Auntie Elise and the cutest little monkey-baby ever, my cousin Peyton.

My Nina Lydia and my mom with the new baby cousin of the family, Carolyna

My Uncle Ric had a great sumo-wrestler costume, too bad this photo is blurry!

My cousins Lisa and Marisa


My brother Chris was nothing more than a Davis SID

Dan! Julie! Me! Jen! Lauren! Eric! Wycee! and baby Peyton!

The Berkeley crew + Jen


A long line of neighbors waits to get into the haunted house.


My cousin Lisa's kid Angelica, hiding behind the fence having a blast being the best talking tree ever (but not the Stanfurd tree because he's a very bad tree...her Cal alumni parents have trained her well).

And we'll close with this shot of Julie taking a turn at being the scary "chain saw" (leaf-blower) person that provides our haunted house with its grand finale.

November

It's the second day of November. Shit.

With all the stuff I have due by the end of this month, I kinda have an idea what a turkey must feel like right about now.

November is usually my favorite month, and no, not just because of the 9th. I love Thanksgiving and the anticipation of December and the holiday season. But if I don't focus and start getting my work done, it's just going to be one creeping deadline after another from here till the book is due in March.

I resolve to make today my last day of time-wasting. From now on I'm reverting back to the studious guy you all knew and loved as an undergrad. No more slacking off.

Weekends? They'll be spent not in the City but in Mountain View doing research for the book.
Thursday nights? Well that's prime time to work on my three projects...who needs happy hour anyway.
Facebook? Never heard of it.

Yeah right.

But seriously, it's time to crack down and chip away at this procrastination-induced guilt I've built up since school started. November might already be a lost cause, but if I start getting on top of things, I can at least save December and January. Wish me luck.

City Trip

On Saturday Kay, Dan, and I picked up Julie in the City and spent the afternoon in Union Square. It was a beautiful day and we had a really nice time. Here are some photos (I'm trying to be better about uploading photos...digital cameras are both a blessing and curse):

The fog rolls into the Bay but the sun shined on the City the whole time we were there. The view from the bridge was awesome, and traffic slowed down in just the right spot.
Kay enjoys the sunshine and the view from the back of Dan's car.

Kay and Julie in Union Square.

Group shot! Such tourists. Hehe.

Dan and I eagerly awaiting the burgers we're soon to eat...it's hard to go to the City and not stop at Taylor's Refresher in the Ferry Building. Yum!

...and see Julie, I didn't post the picture of you swinging your hair around all crazy-like that you wanted to delete of my camera. ;-)

Halloween-esque Shingdig Thing

So, at the last minute we decided to throw a little Halloween get together at our house on Friday night. Everything came together quite nicely, we had plenty of drinks, candy, and pizza and a cool mix of friends, both new and old gather round the TV to watch some ridiculous scary movies. Here are some photos:

Something gory must have just happened in the werewolf-puberty-menstruation (eric bohman would have loved it) movie "Ginger Snaps" judging from the looks on Preeti, Chris, Vicki, and Morgan's faces. Especially Vicki. Hehe.

..or on me and Jacob's face. We kind of got into a photo war trying to get snap shots of people when they were grimacing the most.
Dan caught me pointing the camera at him. Kay looks concerned. Jeremy isn't even looking.

Dan, Julia, and I concocted this vodka laced drink called "witches brew" that Dan found the recipe for off the food network website. A larger bowl filled with Dan's beloved dry ice surrounded the punch bowl, making for a pretty awesome effect that entertained us almost as much as the second movie...

The more Dan drank the witches brew, the more he loved his dry ice.

Eric finally made it home pretty late, but in time for us to hang out and take a 2614 Regent Roomie photo...awwwww. :-)

Keg Stand

I did a keg stand tonight. In the Wurster Hall courtyard of all places. I was challenged by Ian to beat him, which I did, by a second...after getting beer up my nose.

Grad School is weird.

Hoodie

Today on my way to Smart Alex's with Dan I saw someone in Rasputin wearing my hoodie. The brown and blue one which has become a staple of my wardrobe this semester. I wanted to jump them, strip them of the hoodie and run away with it. It is my hoodie and mine alone. I had to go to two freakin Ross-Dress-For-Lesses to find it (I had a gift certificate)and it was the only one on the rack, so that must mean it's the only one in the world...right? right?

Stupid people wearing my clothes.

...and now, to completely shift gears...

I guess I never wrote about the Saint Francis game in detail...well, it was a ton of fun. I went with Jen, Lauren Berger, Chris, Shirley, and my parents. We met up with some other people from our respective classes and took a seat in the aisle next to the band which, to our amazement, now has snazzy uniforms...with hats. (oh, and we now have a color guard, cheerleaders, a mascot, and the micmen that Chris started....it's like something out of the early 1960s!)

There were about 8,500 people there. For a high school game. In California. In the Bay Area. This is not typical, but this was not a typical game. It was my high school's homecoming, its 50th anniversary, and against are arch-rival, Bellarmine..an all boys Jesuit school in San Jose.

Saint Francis pulled off a come from behind victory with a touchdown in the last 27 seconds, it was a thrilling roller-coaster ride of a game. I guess my little brother has rubbed off on me, that and I've gained a lot of self-confidence lately...because I got up and coaxed the crowd of Saint Francis alumni and families to get up and make noise for the team multiple times while Chris reassumed his role as micman and did the same from the track during the last few minutes of the game. It worked, they got up and made noise, and I think it made a difference.

There's something extremely gratifying about going back to Saint Francis with enough self-confidence to put myself out there like that. It reminds me how much I've grown and changed since I was a student there. High school was fine, but it's nice to look back and be reminded how much I've changed, for the better.

Your Heart is an Empty Room

And all you see
Is where else you could be
When you're at home
Out on the street
Are so many possibilities
To not be alone

-Death Cab

Fingers Crossed

I think I need another come from behind victory. Two just wasn't enough :-).

Rain on Down

Friday night/early Saturday morning I found myself lying near the window of some executive's corner office on the 27th floor of one of the towers in the Embacadero Center. I was there for at least 15 minutes or so just watching the light rain fall on the bay and the Ferry Building below me. It was one of those absurd but beautiful moments when time kind of stands still and you just think, wow...I wouldn't want to be any place else right now.

How I got there is not that interesting of a story...after a few failed attempts to find a club that didn't charge a cover over on Broadway... Steph, Dan, Julie, Laurel and I decided to ditch Bobby and his friend in North Beach and head towards the Financial District to hang out in Julie's office. Original plan was to take some wine up there, but alas, Safeway was closed by then.

We were all wet, freezing, and *slightly* buzzed. The rain had caught us off guard that night. Sometimes getting caught in the rain is irritating or depressing. But usually for me it's funny, exciting, makes me feel like a kid again.

The rain made Friday night memorable. And the more I think about it, the more I realize how many of my most vivid memories involve rain.

When I was exploring Boston on my own I got caught in a massive thunderstorm and had to hide on the portico of Fanueli Hall. It was pouring when I ran out of the Disney-MGM Studios with my family in our newly bought rain ponchos, pushing my mom in a wheelchair as fast as we could(she had just had an emergency gallblader surgery)... we were soaking wet by the time we had packed into the rental car. I have a similar memory of the four of us laughing and running around Scottsdale, Arizona one night after being caught in the rain and seeking refuge in an ice cream palour.

It was raining on Mountain View's 100th birthday as I stood with hundreds of other die-hard Mountain Viewers to see the dedication of Centennial Plaza. I have lots of memories of rainy days in Mountain View when, as soon as the first drops fell I would run to the closet, put on my red galoshes and yellow rain coat and go stomp in the puddles that always filled the end of West Dana. I remember towards the end of the big drought in the late 1980s when it poured for the first time in ages, and realizing that my little brother had never really seen rain like this before that he could remember.

It was raining when Kat and I took the GREs in the City and first saw our beloved "Great Fart Quake of 1906" sign, and when Erik and I went to Taylor's refresher during Finals week to take a break from studying last semester. In fact, my earliest memory of being in the City is a rainy night around Christmas when my uncle still lived there. We got caught in a storm while visiting Union Square, I remember running down the street under the awnings and into the BART station soaking wet (hmm, also my first memory of BART).

The more I think about it, the more rainy memories pop up. I'll stop though..don't want to bore you anymore than I already have.

So, in conclusion: I've been a lot more appreciative of those wonderful perfect sunshiney days lately , but I think I'll always love the rain.

What's a Bruin Anyway?

For my update on the weekend in LA (along with a photo essay!), see my Cal gang's group blog:

http://calbears05.blogspot.com

So Who's Gonna?

Look, my blog has titles now! Fun.

So I just sent Dan all the songs from Death Cab for Cutie's new album "Plans" (which I ripped from Chris, who buys CDs much more often than I do). Anyhow this one song, "What Sara Said" is so sad. That said, me posting these has nothing to do with the way I feel right now. Quite happy actually, I just think these are really sad, beautiful lyrics. So read on:

What Sara Said
-Death Cab for Cutie

And it came to me then that every plan
Is a tiny prayer to father time
As I stared at my shoes in the ICU
That reeked of piss and 409
And I rationed my breaths as I said to myself
That I’ve already taken too much today
As each descending peak on the LCD
Took you a little farther away from me
Away from me

Amongst the vending machines and year-old magazines
In a place where we only say goodbye
It stung like a violent wind that our memories depend
On a faulty camera in our minds
And I knew that you were a truth I would rather lose
Than to have never lain beside at all
And I looked around at all the eyes on the ground
As the TV entertained itself

‘Cause there’s no comfort in the waiting room
Just nervous paces bracing for bad news
And then the nurse comes ‘round and everyone lift their heads
But I’m thinking of what Sara said
That love is watching someone die

So who’s gonna watch you die?

Starry Nights
City Lights
Coming Down over me

Tonight my dad came to Berkeley so my brother and I could celebrate his birthday with him (mom's on a business trip). We had Zachary's (yum) and then he had a special request...one of his "life goals"...go down the big stone slide at Cordonices Park.

So, we head up to Northside, where I haven't ventured too often since grad school started. It's dark, and warm, a pleasant evening. We take that drive up Euclid which I walked and was driven up countless times, and the weird feeling of knowing that we weren't heading "home" to the Pink House began to hit me. We get out and all slid down that crazy slide together a few times (even Shirley conquered her fear, haha). It was a lot of fun.

After though, we did something I've kind of avoided doing since May. We went down Scenic Avenue past the Pink House. And there it was, my home of two years. The first "home" I've ever had to leave behind.

It was hard to see it, with no party lights in the living room window. To glimpse inside its windows and not see the shadows of Lauren, or Ryan, or Erik, Eric and Dan. To not be able to park and head up that staircase and into a place that was not so long ago our home.

Hard to believe it's been about four months since I've seen the place. My last look was from the rear window of my parents car as they drove down Rose Street to drop me off at the airport to go to Lisbon. It was the day after graduation. I had stayed up all night with Erik...talking, looking at photos, and then sitting in silence in the living room as the sun slowly lit up the view of the Bay from our living room window and Candice pulled up the street to take him to the airport.

That last time I saw the house through the car's windows, I was crying. It hurt, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. Of course, it wasn't just leaving the house that got to me, there was a lot more to it than that ugly pink box. It was everything that the pink box contained, especially that last semester. I grew up there, became proud of who I was and I solidified friendships that will last a lifetime within its walls. It felt terrible to leave knowing that I could never come back to it.

Tonight, being on Scenic brought back that feeling. As we drove past the house and down the street towards Cedar so many memories flew by all at once. All the times I walked down that street with my friends, especially the times at night. Going to bonfire singing Cal songs with Erik and Lauren, heading to a party already half-drunk with Lauren and Ryan, or with Erik and Dan on our way to meet Kat to go hike up the Big C one last time as Cal students....for a moment it felt like all of you were right there with me.

We hit Cedar, and I called Lauren in USC. We reminisced a little on the phone and she of course said something like "but you have your new friends now". I do have new friends, new experiences that are making this particular time in my life pretty special in its own way.

But Berkeley is a different place now and there was something down right magical about my first four years here that can't be replaced by what happens in the next two.

My ears are still ringing.

The Green Day/Jimmy Eat World concert was awesome. What a show. Jimmy though is much better in a smaller venue, but it was still fun to see them. Green Day rocked the place and Dan and I had so much fun down there near the stage on the field. No doubt one of the most impressive concerts I have ever been to.

It's kind of amazing how much I've been cramming into my weekends so far this semester. It makes me wonder what I was doing my whole time as an undergrad here. I didn't have that much homework. I guess I just spent a lot of time sitting around the house relaxing or going home to Mountain View. Both of which, I must say, can be equally enjoyable at times.

But the running joke with a few of the friends I've made in grad school is that I didn't do my undergrad here...because when they ask me "Oh Nick, have you heard about this place here in Berkeley" or "Hey Nick, have you been to this bar" or, "Hey Nick, what's your favorite place to go in Tilden Park"....I often don't have an answer. It's really strange, but kind of good in a way since it seems like it's gonna take more than another two years for me to ever get bored with this place.

But after a thursday of happy houring, a friday of partying, and a saturday of hiking/concert going...it's now time for a sunday of work. School, you know. It's the whole reason I'm here.

Right?

Right.

Hi there.

It's been a while since I updated this here blog, as my dear friend Miss Profeit has pointed out. I have my reasons.

So, how have I been doing? Quite well I suppose. There's been plenty more ups than downs to this first month of grad school. It's been much easier to make friends and connect with people than I ever had hoped. I'm pretty happy. I feel like I'm smiling a lot more, laughing a lot more, and have a more balanced mix of school and social life.

Some pressure was taken off my back with the book project. I got the submission deadline extended by a few months, so phew. But I need to keep myself from slacking, I want to treat things like it's still due January. School work hasn't been that bad yet...all though things are quickly starting to pile up. But I'm used to that. Berkeley is still Berkeley.

Cal had a really exciting game against Illinois this Saturday, and I had the pleasure of giving my dad's season tickets to two new foreign planning students who really appreciated and enjoyed the experience. It was a lot of fun to see the whole thing through their eyes.

And UC Davis, holy bejesus! They beat Stanfart...with a touchdown in the last 8 seconds of the game! Amazing! I'm so happy for Chris and those 10,000 Aggie fans that made it down to the farm. It's great that he was able to be a part of such a huge thing for his school. Poor Stanford though. Cal's rivalry with them is already one-sided enough. They need to do something to boost spirit at the farm....it's no fun to have a rival that just doesn't care anymore. Ha.

In other news, that job I was looking for? The one that would fit in my schedule and give me some spending money and not be very hard or involve working in retail? It fell from the sky and into my lap this morning. I've been offered a readership for an urban design class I took as an undergrad. Which...is just, perfect.

And today, well today I felt very productive. I did a fine job playing the role of a Feng Shui expert at my urban form theorist debate. I pretty much finished my letter of recommendation for my professor's tenure app. I spent a nice hour or so enjoying the sunshine on the lawn near Kroeber Fountain talking to Preeti. The two of us then rearranged my room, and I like the way it looks and feels now a lot better. Dan took me to the grocery and Long's and I bought lots of stuff I needed, and we both got RSF memberships. Preeti made us baked potatoes at her place for dinner. I finally updated this thing, and in a few minutes I'll be doing some late night studying with a friend.

So yeah. That's the laundry list of my life right now. It's going pretty well.

d i r t i candi: i would probably stay on the west coast
d i r t i candi: of africa
d i r t i candi: but if i lived there
d i r t i candi: you'd have to visit
Nap98: hehe
d i r t i candi: i'm not going to med school until like 2009
d i r t i candi: isn't that sad?
Nap98: will i get to see giraffes?
d i r t i candi: i'll buy one and name it after you
Nap98: yay!
d i r t i candi: and keep it on my giant african ranch
d i r t i candi: or name it whatever you want
Nap98: ooooooOhh
d i r t i candi: i dunno how you'd feel if i named a giraffe after you
Nap98: Steve
d i r t i candi: why steve?
Nap98: i like naming random things Steve
Nap98: it makes me laugh
Nap98: a dog named Steve
Nap98: hahahahah
Nap98: a giraffe named Steve is like 10x funnier
d i r t i candi: lol
d i r t i candi: okay, it's your giraffe
Nap98: i'd see the Giraffe and be like "hey whats up Steve"
Nap98: and he'd be chomping on some leaves all cool and shit
d i r t i candi: omg
d i r t i candi: this is so weird
Nap98: haha
d i r t i candi: i've entered your strange fantasy naming world
Nap98: lol
d i r t i candi: i actually imagined myself saying that to a giraffe
d i r t i candi: and being very impressed with myself
Nap98: LOL
d i r t i candi: as i am sure you are
Nap98: see? see?!
d i r t i candi: i'm definitely more convinced
d i r t i candi: but that was a strange moment
d i r t i candi: hahhaa
Nap98: hehe

Ugh. Stress. I need money. I should have a job. I keep searching through CalJobs and Craigslist with the slim hope I can find some extra easy part time job that I can somehow slip into my schedule.

But I don't think I can fit any more on my plate. I kinda already have a job, a job that doesn't pay anything now but will in the future, the book. Which is my main source of stress right now because I feel like with each passing day that I don't make huge progress on it, I'm digging myself in a deeper hole once the end of the semester rolls around.

God. I need to stop whining and worrying and just start getting shit done.

I'm going to the city in the bit, and I just reflexively got up to go walk to the window and see whether the fog was already rolling in to the Golden Gate. Then I remembered, I'm on Southside. Oh, Pink House. I still miss you.

I've got my 2005 True Blue shirt on. I've got my Cal hat on. I'm walking around my house humming Big C and the chorus of the Cal Drinking Song (The "drink, drank, druuuUNK last niiiiiGHT, drunk the night BEFORE!"...part certainly applies this time....)

The weather is still foggy, cool, and crisp. I have my California sweater in hand, but I probably won't need it. As I type nearly 60,000 alumni, students, and fans are making that trek through the campus up the hill to Strawberry Canyon....to see Cal play SacState....SacState! They'd be lucky to see half that number when I was a freshman.

Is it wrong that a major reason I came back *here* for grad school was two more Autumns of student tickets in Memorial Stadium? I'm kidding! Kinda. Haha.

I have no idea who's reading this thing now, since I've met a lot of new folks lately who might wander over here from my AIM profile or whatnot(hi!). Allow me a brief moment to explain. My enthusiasm Cal football is an anomaly. It's absurd. It doesn't quite fit. But that's why I love it.

Saturdays in Memorial Stadium. Ahhhhhhh. Bliss.

It's hard to wrap my head around what's going on over there in New Orleans. It sounds and looks just as bad as anything any disaster movie director could come up with.

80% of one of America's greatest cities is under water. Hundreds of bodies are floating around decaying in the heat. The poorest people have been left stranded on top of their houses or in and around the Louisiana Superdome. Rescue teams are being called off due to fears of violence. Looting is out of control. There are reports of rape, attacks on hospital supply trucks, assualt..and on and on and on.....

Something went terribly wrong here. And the hurricane can only be partially be blamed for it. What we're seeing now is evidence of a huge divide between the haves who were able to evacuate, and the have-nots, predominantly minorities, who were left behind. It's a recipe for anarchy.

I've never been to New Orleans, but I'm trying to imagine what it must be like for anyone from there to hear the political leaders and newscasters use the term "if" New Orleans gets rebuilt rather than "when" New Orleans gets rebuilt.

I personally have little doubt that the city will rise from the muck. People are far too attached to place to let it go so easily. It's been nearly 100 years since a disaster of this magnitude has hit an American city. 1906, San Francisco. People thought that it was the end of San Francisco, but the city rose from the ashes better than ever before.

Relating what's happening to New Orleans with the 1906 quake though also has a very frightening flipside. Everyone says its only a matter of time before another earthquake of that magnitude tears up the Bay Area, it could happen right here on the Hayward fault. I joke about the alumni side of Memorial Stadium collapsing into a heap of dust...but the thought is terrible. If the quake is strong enough it could physically destroy many of the places we know and love. Assuming it happens in my lifetime, and assuming that I'm still here....I'll probably be very lucky to not lose someone I know because of it.

Are we at all prepared? Judging from what's happening in New Orleans, it doesn't seem like we should rely at all on the Federal Government to swoop to our rescue. If the quake devastates the poorer areas of the Bay, we could very well face the same human chaos that is plaguing New Orleans. Entire neighborhoods, entire cities, could be reduced to piles of rubble or consumed in fire. I hope this serves as a wake up call to the leaders of the Bay Area to get their act together, have their plans in place, get that bridge rebuilt, and make sure that all those rinky-dink apartment complexes that some of our poorest residents (including students) live in are brought up to snuff.

I don't know how to end this post...this has been a random jumble of thoughts I've had the past few days. So...yeah. I guess I'll just say that as a person who plans on making a living off of studying and designing cities, it's quite humbling to be reminded how very fragile they really are. Permanence is an illusion.

::a brief break from all the navel gazing in this blog lately...ha::

What the hell is going on in New Orleans?! Holy shit. People are turning a natural disaster into a human disaster over there. More later...

Today I met with my new advisor, a really great urban design prof who already knows me from my oh-so-distant undergrad years (harhar). We chatted for a little while about course planning and she asked me if things "felt different now."

Boy, I couldn't even begin to tell her how different Berkeley feels now.

Everything looks the same on campus. A good number of my close Cal friends remain nearby. Sproul is still filled with students. The Campanile still marks the hours with its carillion. The football team is still nationally ranked (go bears!) I see the same professors walking down the halls of Wurster. The bums still plague the sidewalks of Telegraph.

But there are so many new people I've met, so many professors I still haven't taken classes with, so much I still have not seen or experienced on this campus, in this city, or in the Bay Area. I told her that, and she seem very pleased to see me happy and confident with my choice to come back here.

There's much more to it than those things though. I've moved from Northside to Southside, and the more I think about the difference between these two sides of campus, the more I realize how highly symbolic this switch is.

I will always cherish my undergrad years...my "Northside years". Hehe. Like Northside, they were relatively quiet and peaceful. They were safe...or at least gave the impression of being so. Northside was the perfect setting for what was a very reflective time in my life.

Now I'm on Southside, I've placed myself in the middle of the milieu. I've deliberately put myself in the position to take full advantage of all that Cal and Berkeley have to offer me. I'm no longer hiding away up on a hill looking down from above on all the things I knew I was missing out on.

It's a completely new experience for me, kind of like a rollercoaster. And so far, I'm loving the ride.

All right, so I'm *officially* a Cal grad student now.

My first day of classes was all right. Kinda a mixed bag, nothing terrible, nothing that knocked my socks off. My biggest fear right now is that I become lazy/bored/distracted and not devote enough attention to school and the book. So guys, please make sure I don't slack off...

....at the same time, make sure that I don't become a social recluse either. ha. ;-)

Well, my summer vacation of 2005 is officially over. Definitely one to remember. Yep.

A bit of a convo from our favorite Golden Bear in Trojan Clothing:

Nap98: wow im all tan
l p r o f e i t: ??
Nap98: i just saw a pic of me from friday
Nap98: i look mexican
Nap98: or something
l p r o f e i t: or something
Nap98: hehe
l p r o f e i t: aren't you indian?
Nap98: oh yahhh
l p r o f e i t: haha.
Nap98: jeeze thanks for reminding me
l p r o f e i t: or something.
l p r o f e i t: that's what i'm here for
Nap98: i think they should change the "mixed/multi" category to
Nap98: "or something"
l p r o f e i t: sounds good
Nap98: i feel thats a more accurate description of my ethno-cultural identity
l p r o f e i t: haha
l p r o f e i t: you're definately "or something"
l p r o f e i t: in every way
l p r o f e i t: =)
Nap98: haha
Nap98: thanks?

This blog has had a blue and gray template since its start and has had that one photo of me that looked kinda blue too, both in color and expression. Blue's still my favorite color...but...

it's time for a change.

Ohhhhh Kat. You're so great. Haha.

TheKatsMeoW137: hey, my life's pretty boring right now...I need to keep tabs on other people...hehe
Nap98: and i need someone to talk to, so its a symbiotic relationship
TheKatsMeoW137: wow. so, if we're a lichen...am I the fungus or the bacteria?
Nap98: lets think of a better example
TheKatsMeoW137: no wait...it's algae....
Nap98: im the humming bird and your a flower
TheKatsMeoW137: right. good idea. No more lichen.
Nap98: haha

I've never been so unable to focus. I can't get myself to write the introduction to the book. I keep having brain farts..type something, delete it, type something else, delete it. Since when do I have a tough time writing about Mountain View? Ha. I wander away from my laptop (which I have deliberately unplugged from the internet) and to this computer where I sit here and busy myself with distractions such as this blog, itunes, myspace, friendster, and that other website.

I've never been so poor. I just realized this is the first summer since my sophomore year of *high school* that I haven't had some source of income to ease the pain on my wallet. And if there's any summer when I could have used the cash, this was it. I suddenly have a costly social life. Damn alcohol and gas! I'm going into the fall with the bleak prospect of living on $1000 a month, and that includes rent. So now in addition to finishing this book and starting grad school, I'm contemplating getting a part time job. Ack.

I've never been so restless. I can't quite describe this one. I feel like I'm missing out on something right now. Maybe it's a residual feeling from my not-so-distant past. It's the same type of feeling I used to get when I was at Saint Francis and knew everyone was at a party that I wasn't invited to. I keep telling myself that I'm working on it, I'm moving along just fine in my life and my goals. But I'm anxious and kinda lonely. I'm tired of being lonely.

I guess, I just can't wait for next week when I'll be back in Berkeley, when Lauren R. and Steph G. will be here from Minnesota, when I'll be surrounded by most of my friends again, going out, meeting new people and getting that excited-nervous feeling about starting grad school.

New favorite song of the moment:

Chocolate by Snow Patrol

New favorite music video of the moment:

Wake me Up When September Ends
(the iraq war-themed video has totally made me like the song even more)

All right, before headin off to bed...it's picture time!

We'll start with the Disneyland trip:

Me, Chris and our cousins pose on a Golden Dumbo.


Mikey and Vanessa decided to ham it up for this photo while Chris and I look like plywood cutouts.


My wonderful folks in front of the train station.


A break from the parks to enjoy dinner at the ESPN Sports Zone restaurant with Kat, Lesley, BJ and Erik, who is taking the pic


...and then to Knott's:

Chris and I with some attractive ladies at Knott's Berry Farm.


...and then to California Adventure:

Chris carries his lovely girlfriend Shirley after her unfortunate big toe nail injury.


That should do it for now. Night.

The lyrics to Wake Me Up When September Ends are running in a loop in the back of my mind now. I remember first hearing that song back when I bought the album in February and thinking how long it would be before it would actually be timely and appropriate to listen to.

But from where I'm sitting now, it doesn't quite fit. It's too sad.

Despite that, it's still playing in my head and every time I hear it I start to reflect on the last three months of my life.

This summer has been about pushing myself to live life to its fullest.

Portugal was an amazing way to start it off. It set the tone. It was new, and fresh, and it took me out of my comfort zone. That's helped me as the summer has progressed.

I've been able to attain a level of self-confidence that I've never had before....and my social life has never been more lively, time spent with my friends has never been more fun, rich, and fulfilling.

Lots of new people have entered my life and I'm so excited to get to know them better over the coming year. But equally important to me are the old friendships that have been renewed and stregthened.

Then there's the Mountain View book, and starting grad school...which, when compared to everything else seem like distractions sometimes. Haha. I suppose it's a bit of a rebellion, a temporary rebellion...because I know deep down I'm still very excited about both of them.

I used Mountain View stuff and school sometimes as a crutch, they helped me get by and keep myself occupied. I don't need them as much as I used to. They still mean a lot to me...but it's so good to have more than that. I think I'm having a healthy re-balancing of where I place my various priorities.

yipee! i had fun tonite. and im drunk. yay. that is all for now. goooooodnight.

After an evening of hitting up the clubs in San Francisco's Marina District with Julie and Dan, the three of us went to Julie's apartment to watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I love that movie, but I immediately crashed on the couch five or ten minutes into it.

I had a series of strange dreams there on Julie's couch last night. The only one that I can still remember though, I see as a very positive sign...

I was at my house in Mountain View, and out from under the shrub beneath the window, a giant black and red spider emerged. I'd say it was about six feet long with a big fat butt. As anyone who knows me can attest to, I hate spiders. I'm afraid of them. They really creep me out.

But instead of running away from this spider or yelling for someone to squish it for me, in this dream I just looked at that ugly spider, and even though I was really scared, I raised my foot up and squashed it into black and purple goop. (nice imagery huh?)

Instead of running away, I destroyed my fear.

It's a big mental shift for me. Even during the dream I remember being surprised by my ability to squish the spider. I guess I am overcoming a lot of my fears lately. I'm growing up. I'm becoming a more full person, I'm living life.

It feels good.

Hmm. I'll take another try at writing this post later.

I'm really thankful for the close friends I've kept since grade school and high school. It means a lot that we've been able to stay close as we've grown from kids, to teenagers, to adults. We've gone through so much together, and there's so many great things that lie ahead.

So just a brief note to say that it's meant a lot to have you guys there for me, and to know you'll always be there no matter where life takes us. Every time we're together, it feels like home.

Auto response from Nap98: working on the book. the mountain view book.
mjvillareal: ur writing a book?
Nap98: ya
Nap98: every cal grad gets a book deal after graduation
mjvillareal: yeah?
mjvillareal: must be a bunch of crappy books
Nap98: hehe
mjvillareal: can u put me in it?
Nap98: ive contracted to do a photo history book on mountain view
mjvillareal: like have my name spelled vertically down a page
mjvillareal: without anyone knowing
mjvillareal: moutain view
mjvillareal: is
mjvillareal: careful
mjvillareal: honoring
mjvillareal: apes
mjvillareal: entering
mjvillareal: lounges
mjvillareal: like that!
Nap98: ill see how i can work that in
mjvillareal: ok u do it
mjvillareal: the least u can do for your cousin
mjvillareal: =)

For some reason, right now...I'm very much missing the swing set in Cordonices Park. I'm missing the delightful absurdity of a group of 20-somethings taking over a playground at dusk and swinging there hearts away. I'm missing the friends I had that did that with me, and having our house right around the corner. That is all.

What a weekend. I think I'll sleep straight until Friday when I head down to....DISNEYLAND!

I'm on my feet.
I'm on the floor.
I'm good to go.

Oh Kat...

TheKatsMeoW137: ewww Nick, we just watched supersize me!
TheKatsMeoW137: (sorry, my sister's still talking about it...)
Nap98: hehe
Nap98: at least you can still eat healthy
Nap98: your knees cant take that from you
TheKatsMeoW137: damn straight, Nick. damn straight.
Nap98: haha
Nap98: i had burger king today
Nap98: having burger king was never quite the same after that movie
Nap98: i always feel guilty
Nap98: but its cheap and im poor and its quick and i was hungry
Nap98: i only get chicken strips though
TheKatsMeoW137: :::shakes head:::: fine, Nick. If *all* you want is cheap and easy...well....that's all you're going to get...
TheKatsMeoW137: tsk, tsk.
Nap98: kat.
Nap98: cheap easy and fast
Nap98: you forgot the last one
Nap98: its key
TheKatsMeoW137: right. right.
TheKatsMeoW137: (Nick. This is awful.)
Nap98: haha
Nap98: erotic bagels!

Here's to the world being pleasantly small every once and while, and, here's to random connections that make ya feel a little less alone in life.

My good friend Jamie, who I've known since high school, has started a very enjoyable blog ever since leaving us for Scotland this summer. I have her linked over there on the left, but I wanted to share something she wrote recently here in my own blog:

"Yesterday, as I was singing Bridge Over Troubled Water while Alan played it, I was thinking of friends I love and hoping that you all see the brilliance and beauty of your lives. That you see how crossing the street can be a perfect moment. Because of all the possibility it holds, and because of all the moments you could be having, of all the moments you have had, that you will have, this is the one you are having. And being in the moment you are having is really powerful. I hope you know that you are all the time having moments worthy of being turned into songs."

Today Chris accused me of only liking sad songs while we were in his car listening to the nasely pvoice of the singer from the band "The Rocket Summer" (happy music according to Chris). In responce I yelled at him half-jokingly that "Maybe it's because I've had a tough life!" Then I really considered it for a moment....do I like only sad songs? I wouldn't call the music I listen to peppy per se...except the oldies.

Nah....just ask Erik and Lauren....they probably heard me play Chipi-Chipi and Hollaback Girl one too many times the last few months we lived together ;-)

But I do have a tendancy to be attracted to songs that are bittersweet, or songs that start out slow and sad and build up to a creciendo of hopefulness. Those songs speak to me.

I'm not really going anywhere this post. Just wanted to share.

Connect.

Sometimes I feel like this blog is a farce, a glorified laundry list of what I did, who I saw, where I went. The writer in me wants to let it all flow out, use it as a way to discharge all the pent up stuff floating in my mind at the end of the day. ..and lately there's been a lot floating around up there. But I can't....this isn't the place.

So instead I just find myself sitting here in Mountain View, wishing that I was on Indian Rock right now, sitting with one of my best friends by my side, looking out over the bay and city, talking about life.

Happy Birthday Disneyland!

Ahhhhhhh...the beach. Finally.

-

Now it feels like summer.

Auto response from d i r t i candi: i like nick. he's a good keep-in-toucher!

So. Summer.

Long days. Warm weather. (Well, kind of.) I'm keeping myself busy, I've got the book to work on during the day, I've spent some quality time with cousins traveling around, my family (even Chris!) has been pretty consistent about having dinner together. But in terms of having a social life...it's taking a lot of effort. Planning and stuff....especially for doing things after the sun goes down. I mean, its one thing to sit in the living room of the Pink House with Erik and Lauren debating what to do tonight, making big plans to go out, and then watching bad movies on OnDemand instead. At least we were being lame together.

But here in Mountain View, failing to make plans means sitting here at this desk suffering with my dial-up internet connection with MTV or Adult Swim on the TV behind me. Since the first summer after freshman year at Cal, its been kind of tough to round up my high school friends to hang out. Now its even more difficult since all but a handful of them are not in the Bay Area this summer. And then when we have gotten together so far, if we don't have a planned activity...it's like...what do we do?

There's really nothing terrible about this situation. It's enjoyable at times, relaxing. But I wish I was better at simply enjoying my free time. Instead, I feel like I'm wasting it. Especially when I'm sitting here staring at this screen *trying* to think of a website to read to entertain myself. Damn the Stanford Theatre for being closed for restoration and expansion until July 22nd at the earliest. I liked that job.

And having all this time during this particular summer, between my undergrad and grad years, I can't help but feel like I'm waiting for something to start. I'm in a kind of in-between phase of my life. I've managed to put one foot out the door....with the other one firmly planted in the past. I'm not quite sure what the next steps are, and when to take them....so I'm stuck here in stasis.

Sorry for the metaphors.