Starry Nights
City Lights
Coming Down over me

Tonight my dad came to Berkeley so my brother and I could celebrate his birthday with him (mom's on a business trip). We had Zachary's (yum) and then he had a special request...one of his "life goals"...go down the big stone slide at Cordonices Park.

So, we head up to Northside, where I haven't ventured too often since grad school started. It's dark, and warm, a pleasant evening. We take that drive up Euclid which I walked and was driven up countless times, and the weird feeling of knowing that we weren't heading "home" to the Pink House began to hit me. We get out and all slid down that crazy slide together a few times (even Shirley conquered her fear, haha). It was a lot of fun.

After though, we did something I've kind of avoided doing since May. We went down Scenic Avenue past the Pink House. And there it was, my home of two years. The first "home" I've ever had to leave behind.

It was hard to see it, with no party lights in the living room window. To glimpse inside its windows and not see the shadows of Lauren, or Ryan, or Erik, Eric and Dan. To not be able to park and head up that staircase and into a place that was not so long ago our home.

Hard to believe it's been about four months since I've seen the place. My last look was from the rear window of my parents car as they drove down Rose Street to drop me off at the airport to go to Lisbon. It was the day after graduation. I had stayed up all night with Erik...talking, looking at photos, and then sitting in silence in the living room as the sun slowly lit up the view of the Bay from our living room window and Candice pulled up the street to take him to the airport.

That last time I saw the house through the car's windows, I was crying. It hurt, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. Of course, it wasn't just leaving the house that got to me, there was a lot more to it than that ugly pink box. It was everything that the pink box contained, especially that last semester. I grew up there, became proud of who I was and I solidified friendships that will last a lifetime within its walls. It felt terrible to leave knowing that I could never come back to it.

Tonight, being on Scenic brought back that feeling. As we drove past the house and down the street towards Cedar so many memories flew by all at once. All the times I walked down that street with my friends, especially the times at night. Going to bonfire singing Cal songs with Erik and Lauren, heading to a party already half-drunk with Lauren and Ryan, or with Erik and Dan on our way to meet Kat to go hike up the Big C one last time as Cal students....for a moment it felt like all of you were right there with me.

We hit Cedar, and I called Lauren in USC. We reminisced a little on the phone and she of course said something like "but you have your new friends now". I do have new friends, new experiences that are making this particular time in my life pretty special in its own way.

But Berkeley is a different place now and there was something down right magical about my first four years here that can't be replaced by what happens in the next two.