Another Christmas, come and gone. My 21st Christmas. Jeesh. Does the 1st one really count? I was less than two months old. Guess so.

It was a nice Christmas. I got to spend some real quality time with my friends during the week before. Kim, Matt, Martin, Josh, lil bro Chris, and I had a fun dinner at Taxi's in Palo Alto on Saturday. Then we all packed into Matt's car to see Christmas lights in Monte Sereno (crazy house there) and Willow Glen. Then Jamie dropped by and we all had a nice get together at my house, played yet another version of Uno and then a great game of Cranium.

Sunday was a false tamale day. No one showed up so we moved it to Monday. Had a birthday dinner for my aunty Cheri. At night, my family and grandparents went to see Christmas lights in Monte Sereno (that crazy house again) and in Vasona Park. After complaining about a guy honking at us on the way there because we were all stuck in a traffic jam......dad goes ahead and accidently sets of the honking siren alarm of my grandpa's van secons after entering the park to see the light displays. That kept us laughing for a good five minutes.

Monday was tamale day. Made tamales. Monday night, Jen rounded me, Martin, and Jamie up....Chris tagged along again too. We had a fun time at Christmas in the Park in Downtown SJ. Then we met up with Josh at Jamie's house to decorate (and eat) Jamie's mom's great Gingerbread cookies. Jamie refused to allow Chris's "evil nick" gingerbread man to remain in her house.....i still don't think he's been eaten yet.

Christmas Eve was different this year because my cousin Jason and his wife Liz were in Oregon with their baby for the first year. We missed having them here. Another break from tradition was a visit my uncle's godparents house. They're really nice people with heavy Italian accents and great senses of humor. When my grandpa Perry was alive, they were best friends with my grandparents. Their house has been completely unchanged since the 1960s.....so cool.....especialy since everything looks new even though it has to be 40+ years old. It was seriously like stepping into a photo from the 60s and sitting down in it for half an hour.

Christmas Day....was something different. All the normal traditions, a tamale dinner, a few games of Santa bingo, a brutal (but fun) game of spoons and uno, pictures on the staircase, video games with my cousins and brother, presents. But thoughts of certain people that were not there put an unexpected damper on the early evening, and thoughts of people that might not be there in the coming years put what many felt was an inappropriate and untimely cloud over the end of what otherwise was a fun family celebration.

Ah well. Nothing is ever perfect, especially in a big family. At least for me, the good outweighed the bad. So much to be thankful for on this Christmas, for my family, my friends, and the great memories we can share from the past few days. (A lot of nice presents too.) Plus, I have more than a month of beautiful beautiful break ahead of me!

So...that's it. A Merry Christmas to All, and to all, a Good Night.

Back in Berkeley for one more day this semester. I don't feel like studying for my city planning final. But, I know if I don't I'm bound to get screwed over and loose my chance to truly dominate this class. Huh. So this will be a short entry.

Monday night went out with Matt, Kim, Martin, and Julia. Tried to go to San Jose's Cheesecake factory...too crowded....ended up at Chevy's (blah). Saw "Anaylze That" fun movie, more fun just to hang out with some of the group again. Looks like a repeat of summer though, Sarah's off to Colorado, Rachel is out in Auburn, Jen is going to be busy or in San Diego. Hopefully those of us that are still in the Valley of Heart's Delight will be able to have a lot of good times over the next month.

Tuesday....didn't do much, went to Shoreline with my grandpa, just walked around to enjoy the brief but beautiful gaps of sunlight between this on-going series of storms. Apparently there's snow on Mt. Hamilton today...and of course I'm in Berkeley. I hope it stays through tomorrow so I can see it....(and maybe try to go up to it).

Sleigh bells ring....are you listening? In the lane...snow is glistening.

Well....the sleigh bells are actually Snicker's new dog collar(it has chili peppers on it! ha!) and ID tag cling-clanging against each other....and the lane is indeed glistening....but from the sea of water that has fallen here since Friday. This storm has been crazy, 50-60mph winds, thunder, lightening, trees are falling everywhere, one of my grandpa's 30 year old rose bushes snapped over, and the power went out most of Saturday evening. But it came back on that night, thank you PG&E. Ah....but it is wonderful to be home.

All the things that I longed for a week ago in this blog have happened in the last two days. I'm typing this in the living room, surrounded by all the decorations and lights that make my house so special during this time of the year. My dad made hot chocolate for my family, we watched a Muppet Christmas Carol (we swear by this version of the classic)....we even braved the rain and went cruising for holiday lights as we waited for our Round Table Pizza to be done. Yum. That was all just yesterday.

Today we've all been working on putting up the Nacimiento next door at my grandparent's house, a family tradition for over 50 years. The Nacimiento is something that my parents, brother and I put up. My grandma used to put it up, but before that my great-grandma put it up. Basically, the nacimiento is a nativity scene. But it's the Mexican version of a nativity scene.....and we go all out. The thing is three tiers of heirloom figures. On the top tier are my great-grandma's manger figures and dozens of "sparkle town" houses she bought in the 1940s...and that we now find out are now valuable collectibles. Perhaps the most impressive feature is the cloth that drapes the entire scene, which we hang hundreds of glass ornaments from. Apparently my great-grandma started doing this, the ornaments represented stars. My dad pointed out today how cool it was that we were hanging up the exact same ornaments my great-grandma hung up so many years ago. It is very cool.

The nacimiento is a lot of work, especially for my mom, who does most of the work. The rest of us have tried to help out a lot more over the past few years so things are a little balanced now. We started it last night and have been working on it all day today....and it's only about half way done. Sometimes people don't realize how much work and time it takes. I remember a few years ago my parents actually considered not putting the Nacimiento up. Too much work, and it seemed like no one else in the family cared about it. But we decided that if anything, it was a really important tradition for us and my grandparents, even if the rest of the Sias bunch took it for granted. And sometimes it feels like they do, and that still dissapoints us.

Yesterday, one of my aunts made a slightly upsetting remark about why we even bother putting it up if its so much work. She probably wasn't entirely serious...but it's still bugs. The Nacimiento is about our culture, and putting it up is a way to honor our culture and our family's past. I'm sure if we didn't put it up, most everyone would miss it and complain that it wasn't there come Tamale Day...(if they even show up on Tamale day). If only they could be a little more appreciative and a little more helpful without us having to take it away. This really should be a thing that the whole family is a part of and trys to take some ownership of. So cousins, if you are reading this....the Nacimiento isn't just my family's tradition, its yours too.

Friday the 13th is over. I survived. My grades? Completely up in the air. But it's over....can't do anything about them now. My fate is sealed. So....although I'd rather try to not remember the beginning of the day...the end of the day is something I do not want to ever forget.

I did end up going to San Francisco for dinner tonight with some of my closest friends from studio. We went to celebrate our collective survival, and for me, it was a closing to my architecture studio career here at Berkeley. A bittersweet occassion. Went to Cheesecake factory, Lauren ended up driving some of us. The rain even died down, and the city was all lit up...which was so nice to see (despite the new neon wreaths that replaced the old real one's in Macy's windows on Union Square..Lauren and Leo know how I feel about that.....hehe) We had a really nice, laid back time. I even got my "tons o' fun burger" before the semester ended. We talked and talked about everything and anything, and when the convo died....I'd bring up some random subject like how i'm wearing mismatched socks today....and things would start back up again.

Funny how suddenly friends that were new last year, are good ol' friends at the end of this semester. Leo, Lauren and I, the studio triad (a Celtic thing according to Rory), go waaaaaay back (to CalSo....Cal Student Orientation). Funny how these people that I randomly met ended up being two of my closest friends at Cal. If you two happen to read this....I really appreciate you guys and the times we've spent together. And the people I've met this semester from my studio are just awesome. Lot's of funny and fun memories I'll never forget. Heck, they even dubbed me with a completely random nickname which I shall not utter here cause I know some of my other friends will adopt it to annoy me. Heck, Flavia and Rory even made up a song. It's sad that I won't have studio or perhaps even classes with many of them again....I really hope we are able to stay close.

The get together at Lauren's house after was also fun in a quirky way. Flavia's instinence that I tell my ghost stories, after I claimed that I tell good ghost stories, completely changed the tone of the evening, and I think most of us that were awake when we started talking about that subject are thoroughly freaked out tonight. But that's always a fun conversation to have....or at least exciting. I'm thankful Erik hasn't gone home yet because I wouldn't do so well being in the room alone right now. I hope Lauren sleeps well in her old somewhat haunted looking house, Flavia too. On the ride home, everything was "creepy" or "freaking us out." Hehe. Good times.

It's almost four o' clock am. I'm going back to Mountain View in the morning.and staying there until at most Tuesday (last final on Wed.) I'm starting to get tired just now. Today has been a very long day. But no matter what happens with my finals, it will be a good long day to remember thanks to the people that helped get me through some of the hardest work I've ever done. Thanks guys. Goodnight.

Ya, I'm in a strange mood. I'm easily irretable and agitated. I find myself both tired and awake, bored and overwhelmed at the same time. Studio is over and this is the aftermath of working non stop for the past month. I feel slightly disconnected from my non-studio friends here, and I really don't have the time to reconnect because the gigantic dark cloud of Friday the 13th, the day of my stats and music final, looms ahead.

The fact that all my grades (except city planning....A+ baby) are entirely up in the air right now has me very nervous. I've worked so damn hard in stats and studio, and to be unsure what my grades are this late is tough. And my music class was a joke, I felt like I wasted units taking that class. Now I have to force myself to care about it for the sake of my GPA. These two finals are very important, and they both are on the same day. I'm having a tough time figuring out how to balance the study load.

And of course there's this weird feeling of being homesick from studio......you spend so much time with one group of people, and even though it can unbelievably hardwork, you still miss their company. It's like coming home from war. What I really need is a break between now and finals to readjust, but I won't get that. Gotta shift gears and jump right from the studio to the study wagon.

And ...being in Berkeley during the month of Decemeber is painfull. It just does not feel like Christmas here, especially in the dorms. There are no Christmas lights except on Telegraph Avenue (which smells like shit when it rains....which it is). TV Christmas specials, movies, and songs seem hallow when your watching or listening to them by yourself in your dorm room instead of with family and surrounded by the warmth of home.

And there's so many little things at home that I miss. My mom does a fantastic job of decorating the house despite her tough work schedule, and I miss seeing that when I wake up in the morning. I'd like to help set up the Nacimiento. I'd like to have my dad make hot chocolate in the evening and watch Christmas movies with my whole family. I'd like to go outside and stand in front of our house and admire the lights and explore other neighborhoods to see how they've decorated for the holidays. Heck, I even have a hankering to go to church. And most importantly, I'd like to be there for my grandparents, especially my grandpa, during this tough week for him. Time is precious, especially time with my grandparents.

So I'm anxious to go home. Even more anxious to get these finals over with. Come Friday some huge weights will be lifted off my shoulders, and if things go as planned I might go to SF with my studio section to celebrate our collective survival and the holidays. Maybe then it'll start to feel a little more like Christmas here in Berkeley.

EricE823: haha nick
Auto response from Nap98: how's this for jargon:

I'm up at the sleep deprivation chamber (aka wuster) deconstructing my final model because the tectonics of my material selection was not architectonic enough. My selection of tan museum board for ground treatment clouded the original poetics of my parti and I need to build a new one out of brown chip board with acetone transfer on my old topo.

whoopa.
EricE823: your away message is hilarious, although i feel for you
EricE823: : what the hell are u talking about?
EricE823: : crazy architecture jargon

For those of you that were curious, the acetone transfer was a bust and I just decided to use the back of my biggie jumbo as the ground cover for my model.

(And before any of you dirty dirty people say anything, a biggie jumbo is a large drawing pad.)

Final project status:
Site Plan - done
Cross Section - done
Longitudal Section - done
Final model - far frome done.
Presentation board - what presentation board?
Presentation Outline - I have to say something?

The pendulem swings again. I either hate studio or I sorta like it. Right now I sorta like it. I still have four days to finish my final project so things aren't as rushed as usual. One of the four things I have due, a section, was completed and to my amazement....given the thumbs up by my section leader.

I enjoy spending time with my studio friends. We can talk about anything and everything....even our projects and architecture sometimes. I'll miss them a lot. It's weird that this is my last week.

I told my grandpa about studio, he said it sounds a lot like going to war. I agree! My studio section is my platoon. We go through hell together. My section leader, our my sergeant. We love to hate him, but in reality he's a good guy who wants to guide us and help us out. Our mission in this war....finish our final projects before Sunday. Hopefully I can yell mission accomplished before Saturday night.

So the weekend was good, but....it sorta had a bittersweet feeling to it. First of all....it just plain sucks that I have to be in Berkeley at all during the month of December, I do not want to be here/studio. And on another level.....either I'm paying more attention, or life in my family is moving more quickly. Traditions are changing, lives are shifting. It's tough to deal with, because I grew up for so long thinking that my family was something that would never change. I was lucky enough to never have that illusion broken by something like divorce or tragedy.

But the years are going by....no one can stop or deny the changes they bring. I see my grandparent's getting older. My grandma more forgetful, my grandpa not as strong as he used to be...and what's harder is that now they're both admitting and realizing it. Thanksgiving was moved to my oldest (or longest loved) aunt's house. It was nice, my aunt, uncle, and cousins did a good job setting the place up. But Thanksgiving was the last major holiday at my house/grandparents house. Until last year, our compound used to be the hub of our family's life throughout the year. Birthday parties, random get togethers and the two biggies, Easter and Thanksgiving. It was great to have everyone there, to have both houses and yards filled with family and friends. I think we're going to work on getting either Thanksgiving or Easter back there.

Regardless of where these celebrations are, I try to remind myself how great it is that we have them at all. It's wonderful that the 30+ members of my family and our close friends still live close enough, and get along well enough, to come together throughout the year and cram ourselves into some relative's house for a day. Except for one of my cousin's and her new husband, every member of my mom's family made an appereance at Thanksgiving this year. The location might change, but what really matters is that we stick together and work to keep our traditions going in some shape or form. Sappy yes. But also very true.

So anyways...all this talk about family and the holidays has me thinking about a song from my favorite Christmas movie, A Muppet Christmas Carol. (If you haven't seen this movie.....I have the DVD and I plan on watching it some time this week or next to cheer me up after studio has knocked me to the ground and grinded my face against the floor littered with the scraps of my original "too Cancun-resort like" model.)

So here are the wise words right from Kermit's mouth:

Life is full of sweet surprises, everday's a gift.
The sun comes up and I can feel it lift my spirit.
It fills me up with laughter, fills me up with song,
I look into the eyes of love and know where I belong.

Bless us all, who gather here
The loving family I hold dear
No place on Earth, compares with home,
And every path will bring me back from where I roam.

Bless us all, that as we live.
We always comfort and forgive.
We have so much, that we can share.
With those in need we see around us everywhere.

Let us always love each other,
Lead us towards the light.
Let us hear the voice of reason,
Singing in the night.

Let us run from anger
And catch us when we fall.
Teach us in our dreams and please, yes, please,
Bless us one and all.

Bless us all, with playful years.
With noisy games and joyous tears,
We reach for you, and we stand tall
And in our prayers and dreams we ask you bless us all."